Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Death Of Indian Cricket Telecasts

Indian Cricket Telecasting ,
1983 - 2006
Died an untimely death.
Allegedly driven to commit suicide by three main accused persons -
1.Excessive Sponsorship,21 ,
2.Mindless Competitions,45
3.Spaghetti Tops ,(sweet)16.
Last seen with a mumbling , fumbling , 'punny' , sardarji (previously convicted for assault on a parking attendant - with kicks and punches; now uses fast , meaningless words , expressions learnt by rote and brightly coloured matching ties and pagadis for the same purpose ).
Also implicated in the murder are 3 more accomplices -
1. Plunging Necklines,18
2. Extravagant Jewelery,43
3. Ghastly Make-up,33
All three of whom are known to work for an expert assasin - Ms Mandira Bedi , by attracting the onlookers' attention towards themselves , thus successfully concealing their boss' incomprehensibile, insignificant, negliglible knowledge of cricket.
All the suspects and accused work together in tandem , simultaneously ; to create one of the biggest blunders in Indian Television History , on the most inappropriate platform , a daily soap channel - SET max.
Resuscitation was attempted by Bhogle , Gavaskar et al ; however , it was all in vain . . . .
The last words , reportedly heard were "Hoo Haa India" (meaning and purpose not known).
© 2006 .No part of this article may be reproduced or quoted without the expressed permission of Akshay Gopinathan Nair .


Aps said...

Its ur best blog article 2 date!.......loved the way its been written...very interesting & u've indulged in a lot of mandira/sidhu bashing!!!......N yes......i've fulfilled my promise too.....writing u this comment!

Rima said...

yea agree with aps..i like this one the best..

Akshay G N I said...

u liked this one the best cos this is not a f1 / cricket based blog .
and yes , im already itchimg to write another f1 blog !!

Harry nee harini... said...

i loved this piece... mandira is so repulsive and what is thi shaadi band baaja thing about cricket marrying entertainment bullshit. definitely bahut dowry diya hoga to let it take place. keep writing schumi!!!

Varsha said...

heh heh..Probably the wedding too was an important driving factor...agree with harry

Akshay G N I said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roshan Balakrishnan said...

yet again akshay gni proves his mettle as master blaster with the pen!

Sunil said...

exceptional masterpiece n very subtly point is made wid a vengeance ... as always akshay ... as always its still captivating

Siddhu said...

This one hits the nail on it's head.. Couldn't have been expressed any better.. Well I guess ur blog has had some impact.. Recently, ICC signed a contract with ESPN-Star, giving them exclusive TV rights after 2007.. We can now hope for some real 'cricket' telecast.